The Dumbest of the Dumb
by Psychid
Summary: An argument between Atticus and Jaden occurs, all because they just want to know who's really the dumbest amongst them.


Another day, another GX fic, if you know what I mean! And this fiction shows the true meanings of friendship, and I'll bet that Atticus and Jaden would make such a great couple (in friendship, not in marriage!).

So here's…THE 411!

(Note: the 'full summary' and the 'disclaimer' title things are now in bold, because on the actual site, I can't seem to see the underlined stuff, so I'm doing this just to be safe)

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**Full Summary:** As some of us might already know, Atticus and Jaden are the bestest of friends, but apparently, an argument about who's really the dumbest occurs, thus ending their friendship. Now, they will fight to see who's really the dumbest of them all!

**Disclaimer:** Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or Yu-Gi-Oh! GX. Wait… that was the only thing I included in this disclaimer… SW33T!

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Alright, that's it for that crud. RER! Oh, and sorry the intro was short.

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THE DUMBEST OF THE DUMB

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Friends… you love them and you hate them… and sometimes, you think they're a little bit in between of the love and the hatred (at least that's what I think). But if you look at Atticus Rhodes and Jaden Yuki, you'll think that they're probably the bestest of friends in the world…or are they?

And here, we see Atticus and Jaden sitting together on a hill, looking at the sunset.

"You're my best friend, Atticus!" said Jaden.

"You're my best friend too, Jaden!" said Atticus.

"AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!" laughed Jaden and Atticus stupidly.

Then, there was silence.

"Ever wonder why people think we're stupid?" asked Jaden.

"That's because we _are_ stupid!" said Atticus.

"Oh yeah…" said Jaden.

"But we both know who's the stupidest of them all!" said Atticus.

"I know!" said Jaden.

They soon both laughed stupidly and then both said, "Me!"

Silence.

"Impossible, Jaden!" said Atticus. "Everyone knows that _I'm_ the stupid one!"

"Aren't you referring to _me_ being the 'stupid one'?" asked Jaden.

"You don't know what 'referring' _is_, don't you?" asked Atticus.

"Exactly! That proves that _I'm_ the stupid one!" said Jaden.

"No, _I'm_ the dumb one!" said Atticus.

"_I_ AM!" cried Jaden.

"NO, _I_ AM!" cried Jaden.

"You know what, Jaden?" asked Atticus.

"What's that… **_FAT_**TICUS?" asked Jaden.

"I think you're… _intelligent_!" said Atticus as Jaden gasped.

"You're _SMART_…" continued Atticus.

Bigger Jaden gasp.

"…_GOOD AT SCHOOL_…" continued Atticus

Even bigger Jaden gasp.

"…AND YOU… _GET STRAIGHT A'S_!!!" cried Atticus.

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!**" screamed Jaden, covering his hears as if he couldn't bear to hear any more.

"How did _that_ feel?" asked Atticus.

"You know what?" asked Jaden.

"Oh, you think you can make me crack, huh?" asked Atticus.

"You're… _interesting_!" said Jaden as Atticus gasped.

"You're a _GENTLEMAN_…" continued Jaden.

Bigger Atticus gasp.

"…a _NICE PERSON_…" continued Jaden.

Even bigger Atticus gasp.

"…AND _PEOPLE RESPECT YOU_!!!" cried Jaden.

"**AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!**" screamed Atticus, covering his hears, not bearing to hear it anymore. "THAT'S IT! FROM THIS DAY, WE'RE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE!"

"THAT GOES DOUBLE FOR ME!" screamed Jaden as he and Atticus walked away from each other.

_Genius…_ thought Atticus to himself.

_Respected person…_ thought Jaden to himself.

* * *

The next day in the official Slifer Red Dorm cafeteria, Syrus noticed Jaden eating his food with a grumpy look on his face. It was then when he walked over to him to see what was wrong.

"Jaden, what's the matter?" asked Syrus.

"Atticus and me aren't friends anymore…" grumbled Jaden.

"You mean, 'Atticus and _I_ aren't friends anymore'," corrected Syurs.

"You're not involved in this crisis, you know!" cried Jaden.

"I was just doing grammar correction!" said Syrus.

"…Oh…" said Jaden as Syrus just sighed.

"Anyway," said Syrus, "how did your friendship with Atticus end?"

"Atticus thought that he was the dumb one when it was I who was really the dumb one!" said Jaden.

"Are you sure it was noting really important?" asked Syrus. "Such as who was better at some sport? Or has a better collection? Or who's got more looks in the family?"

"No," said Jaden.

Silence.

"So, let me get this straight," said Syrus, "you're saying that you ended your friendship with Atticus… because you wanted to see who was really the stupid one?"

"Yep!" said Jaden.

"You do realize that you'll want Atticus back eventually, do you?" asked Syrus.

"…I will?" wondered Jaden.

"Yeah…" said Syrus.

"Oh, pish-posh!" said Jaden. "I know that I am officially done with Atticus, and there's no way that I'm going to be friends with him again! But how to actually know that I'm really the dumb one…"

"Why not just prove it to Atticus?" asked Syrus.

Silence.

"That… idea… is… PERFECT!" said Jaden, running out the Slifer Red Dorm.

"Sigh… me and my big mouth…" sighed Syrus.

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Meanwhile, Atticus was in the same mood Jaden was before; all grumpy-looking as he was eating his breakfast in his cafeteria. It was then when Zane noticed Atticus in that grumpy mood, and walked over to him.

"Let me guess…" said Zane, "you're grumpy because you're not friends with Jaden anymore all because of a stupid reason in which you think you're really the dumb one when Jaden thinks he is?"

Silence.

"HOW DID YOU KNOW?!" cried Atticus.

"I knew that you're always in that mood whenever it involves a problem between you and Jaden…or if it involves you not doing your singing (which is really bad, by the way)," said Zane, "…oh, and I read it in your diary."

"HOW DID YOU KNOW I HAD A DIARY?!" cried Atticus.

"Remember when we went shopping together once?" asked Zane.

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Wavy Flashback Effects

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And Zane and Atticus's flashback took place at Target, where they were looking for something to buy for themselves.

"This looks good," said Zane, picking up a book that was entitled _King Solomon's Mines_.

"No, that looks boring!" said Atticus, putting it back. "This is a book people should read!" And he picked up _Captain Underpants and the Preposterous Plight of the Purple Potty People_ with a goofy smile on his face.

"That book's for little kids…" said Zane.

"I know!" said Atticus. "Isn't it great?"

Silence.

"Put it back, Atticus…" said Zane.

"You never let me have any fun…" moaned Atticus, putting the book back.

It was then when he saw what he wanted…a fuzzy, pink, girly, Hello Kitty diary.

"(gasp) I JUST FOUND WHAT I WANTED!" cried Atticus happily, pointing to the Hello Kitty diary.

"That's also for little kids…" said Zane, "…especially ones that are… little girls…"

"I DON'T CARE!" said Atticus, holding the book. "IWANTITIWANTITIWANTITIWANTITIWANTITIWANTITIWANTITIWANTITI-"

"FINE! IF YOU WANT THE BOOK, THEN HAVE IT!" screamed Zane.

"Thank you!" said Atticus, giving Zane a big, slobbery kiss.

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"Oh yeah…" said Atticus.

"You do realize that you'll eventually crack and want Jaden as your friend again, do you?" asked Zane.

"No way, hozae!" said Atticus. "But how to know that I'm really the dumb one…"

"Why not just prove it to Jaden?" asked Zane sarcastically.

"THAT'S IT!" cried Atticus, giving Zane a big and even slobbier kiss and running out the Dorm.

"Ew…" moaned Zane, heading to the bathroom to clean off his face.

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Meanwhile, in a nearby grassy field, Atticus and Jaden were walking towards each other; there was a feeling of rage in every step made. It wasn't long before they soon confronted each other.

"I'M GONNA PROVE TO YOU THAT I'M THE DUMB ONE!" declared Atticus and Jaden to each other as soon as they confronted each other. It was then when another argument occurred about who was going to prove to who that they were the dumb one.

"NO, _I'M_ GONNA PROVE THAT TO YOU!" screamed Jaden.

"NO, _I_ AM!" screamed Atticus.

"_I_ AM!" screamed Jaden.

"_I_ AM!" screamed Atticus.

"_I_ AM!"

"_I_ AM!"

"_I_ AM!"

"_I_ AM!"

"WILL YOU TWO **BEEPS** BE QUIET?!" screamed Chazz from his Dorm Room.

Silence.

"Maybe we should ask someone who knows who's really the stupid one!" suggested Jaden.

"For once, I agree!" said Atticus.

"But who knows who's really the dumbest among us?" asked Jaden as he and Atticus soon started (trying) to think. It wasn't long (after about five minutes, probably) before they figured out who that person was.

"MRS. CROWLER!" cried Atticus and Jaden happily and stupidly.

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"First of all, it's _DR._ Crowler!" said Crowler as soon as Atticus and Jaden came to his office. "And second, there's absolutely no doubt to who's this so-called 'stupid one'!"

"Really?" asked Atticus. "Who's that? Yours truly?"

"No, he was referring to me!" cried Jaden.

"No, he was referring to _ME_!" cried Atticus.

"It was to _ME_!" screamed Jaden.

"No, _ME_!" screamed Atticus.

"No, _ME_!"

"No, _ME_!"

"WILL YOU TWO BE QUIET FOR JUST ONE SECOND AND LET ME ANSWER YOUR **BEEP**ING QUESTION?!" screamed Crowler.

"Sorry," said Jaden and Atticus.

"Anyways, if you ask me who's the dumbest of them all, I think you both are!" said Crowler.

This made Jaden and Atticus look confused.

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THE END

"HEY!" cried Jaden. "WE'RE NOT DONE HERE!"

"Well, sor-ry!" whined MoD, setting the setting back to the previous setting. (Whoa…that's a lot of 'settings'…)

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"But I wanna know who's _really_ the dumbest of the two of us!" whined Atticus.

"And _I_ already know who it is!" said Jaden.

"I do, too!" said Atticus. "And that's _me_!"

"No, it's me!" screamed Jaden.

"It's _ME_!" screamed Atticus.

"It's _ME_!" screamed Jaden.

"WILL YOU TWO IDIOTS BE QUIET?!" screamed Crowler. "If you really want to know who's the dumb one, then I guess I'll have to put up a series of tests that would try to prove your intelligence!"

"I ACCEPT!" declared Jaden.

"I DO TOO!" declared Atticus.

"Yeah, glad to hear that," said Crowler. "NOW GET THE **BEEP** OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

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After a few hours, Crowler was finally ready to test Atticus and Jaden.

"Alright, idiots," said Crowler, "I have finally completed your tests to see who really is the dumbest of them all! First up is the written exam. You'll be given thirty minutes to complete it, and your task is to answer as many questions as possible. Whoever gets the most wrong wins round one!"

"ALRIGHT!" cheered Atticus and Jaden as they soon started working on their tests.

There were many so-called 'difficult' problems that Atticus and Jaden couldn't answer (considering they were questions that would be answered correctly by most first-graders); there were questions such as "1 + 1?", "5 - 3?", "9 - 6?", and… you get the idea.

"Alright, time's up!" said Crowler. "Please hand in your tests."

As Crowler collected Atticus's and Jaden's tests, he noticed that one of them was a bit soggy.

"Jaden… why is your test all moist?" asked Crowler with a disturbed look on his face.

"Well," said Jaden, "I was getting all sweaty, so I wiped my forehead with it. And then I had a runny nose, so I blew my nose with it. And then I had to go whizzy-pee, so-"

"Okay, forget I asked," said Crowler with a disgusted look on his face. "I'll just try to copy most of the answers on your test to a nice, fresh, clean, dry one."

And as soon as he was finished with that, Crowler put the tests in an answer-scanning machine (whatever you call those **CENSORED** things). And as soon as the answers were scanned, Crowler came in with the results.

"Alright, here are Jaden's results for the test," said Crowler. "Jaden… you got a negative fifty on it."

"SWEET!" cheered Jaden, laughing stupidly.

"And Atticus… you got… a negative fifty-one," said Crowler.

"ALRIGHT!" cheered Atticus, who was soon about to do a victory dance that was made up of really bad dance moves.

"Please don't do that," said Crowler, stopping Atticus. "But, according to the test results… Atticus is the winner of round one!"

"SWEET!" cheered Atticus, laughing stupidly.

"HEY! NO FAIR!" moaned Jaden.

"Don't worry, Jaden," said Crowler, "I'm sure you'll get _your_ chance in the next round…"

"Really? OH, BOY!" cheered Jaden, bouncing up and down uncontrollably.

"Yeah, glad to hear that," said Crowler. "MOVING ON!"

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"In round two," said Crowler at a nearby laboratory, "you'll have to get that banana hanging out of reach as fast as you can, using nothing but those boxes on the floor. Whoever gets the banana in the longest amount of time wins. Are you ready?"

Jaden and Atticus just nodded their heads stupidly.

"Good," said Crowler. "Now, then; Atticus, since you were the winner of the last round, you get to go first!"

"W00T!" cheered Atticus, entering the laboratory room. As soon as he got inside, he looked at the banana out of reach… and then looked at the boxes on the floor… then he looked at the banana again… and then looked at the boxes again… banana… boxes… banana… boxes…

"Are you going to move, or are you just going to stand stupidly there?" asked Crowler.

"THINK… HAVE TO THIIIIINNNKKKKK… MUST… THINK… CAN'T… DO IT… wait… I'VE GOT IT!" cried Atticus.

"Finally," said Crowler.

It was then when Atticus soon started to throw the boxes at the banana, hoping to get it down. He didn't have much luck at first, but after a couple of boxes thrown, he managed to get the banana down.

"YES!" cheered Atticus, holding the banana triumphantly in his hand. "I FINALLY CAUGHT THE HOLY BANANA OF ALL OF ATHENS!"

"Yeah, good for you," said Crowler, "and you managed to get that so-called 'holy banana' in six minutes and fifteen seconds."

"SWEET!" cried Atticus.

"I CAN BEAT THAT!" said Jaden.

"Yeah, good luck with that," said Crowler as Jaden entered the laboratory room. "You may begin!"

"Alright… now… what to do, what to do…" said Jaden to himself, looking at the banana and the boxes. He looked at them again… and again… and again… and again… and again some more…

"Are you planning to move today, Mr. Yuki?" asked Crowler.

"JUST A SECOND!" said Jaden as he kept looking at the banana and the boxes. He looked at them again… and again… and again… and again…

"JUST MOVE, STUPID!" screamed Crowler.

"Alright! Alright! Jeez!" said Jaden. He was about to reach for a box… but then put it down and started to bang his head on the wall, hoping to get the banana down. He kept doing this until he was sure to get the banana down (and hopefully not get a headache). It wasn't long before he managed to get the banana down… and not get a headache after all.

"Congratulations, Jaden," said Crowler, "you just got the banana down in ten minutes and nineteen seconds."

"W00T!" cheered Jaden, bouncing up and down. "THAT MEANS I'M THE STUPID ONE!"

"NO, _I'M_ THE STUPID ONE!" screamed Atticus.

"NO, _I_ AM!" screamed Jaden.

"NO, _I_ AM!" screamed Atticus.

"_WILL YOU TWO BE QUIET_?!" screamed Crowler. "Well, it does seem that we have a tie. And so, without further ado, I give to you the tiebreaker, in which you'll have to settle this like men…"

"Rock-paper-scissors?" asked Jaden.

"No," said Crowler.

"Eeny-meeny-miney-moe?" asked Atticus.

"No!" said Crowler.

"Find a magical scale that shows our weight based on our intelligence?" asked Jaden.

"DEFINITELY NOT!" screamed Crowler. "I was thinking more of… a _wrestling match_…"

Silence.

"What?" asked Jaden and Atticus, both in a high, squeaky voice.

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WRESTLE-MANIA TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME

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"WELCOME, EVERYONE, TO THE GREATEST WRESTLING MATCH OF ALL TIME!" said Crowler with a microphone in a nearby wrestling ring.

However, all of the bleachers in the stadium were empty. It was then when Crowler held up a sound-making machine and pressed a button on it to make a sound of an applause.

"Thank you all kindly," said Crowler. "And now, in this corner, in Slifer Red, passing the test of trying to get the banana during our test…JADEN YUKI!"

Crowler soon pressed the "applause" button again as he pointed to Jaden, who was snorting and stomping his feet with anger.

"And in this corner," declared Crowler, "in Obelisk Blue, passing the written part of our test…ATTICUS RHODES!"

Crowler pressed the applause button yet again as he pointed to Atticus, who was also snorting and stomping his feet with rage.

"Alright, gentlemen," said Crowler to Atticus and Jaden, "now, we're getting serious! For the tiebreaker, it's pretty simple…BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF EACH OTHER WITH ALL YOU'VE GOT!"

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" cried Atticus and Jaden with anger.

"LET THE MATCH BEGIN!" declared Crowler, ringing the "wrestling bell" (as I like to call it) twice. It was then when Atticus and Jaden soon started beating each other up, thus resulting in such violence (but not the "blood and gory" kind of violence).

"I know how to defeat you…" said Atticus darkly and evily, "for I know you one…true…weaknes…"

He soon reached for a feather and started to tickle Jaden in places where you normally wouldn't want to be tickled.

"AH-HA-HA-HA-HA! STOP I-I-IT! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! PLEA-EA-EASE! CUT THAT OUT! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" laughed Jaden as Atticus was tickling him.

"TAKE THAT, GENIUS!" said Atticus as he kept tickling Jaden.

"Oh yeah?" asked Jaden, somehow managing to break free from the dreaded tickling. "Well, I know what YOUR weakness is…you hate…to get……A SPANKING!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" cried Atticus as he started to get spanked by Jaden. "OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! O-HOH-HOW!"

"TAKE THAT, RESPECTED PERSON!" said Jaden.

"NEVEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!" declared Atticus as he and Jaden kept on fighting. Okay, now I seem to be bored with them doing nothing but fighting, so let's just end this crap somehow…

"I HATE YOU, ATTICUS!" screamed Jaden.

"I HATE YOU, JADEN!" screamed Atticus.

"RESPECTED PERSON!" screamed Jaden.

"GENIUS!" screamed Atticus.

But as they kept on fighting, somehow, they started to remember the good old days before they ended their friendship…

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Wavy 'Happy Memories' Effects

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And one of the places their 'happy memories' took was in a park, where Jaden was pushing Atticus on the swings; they both had happy yet goofy looks on their faces. Another one of those places was in another park, where Jaden and Atticus were running together, each with those same happy yet goofy looks on their faces. And another scene took place in a nearby school bathroom, where Atticus and Jaden were both flushing a bunch of toilets and splashing toilet water at each other. And you guessed it; they both had those very same looks on their faces.

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End of 'Happy Memories'

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It was then when Atticus and Jaden ended the fighting and looked at each other with big, sad eyes.

"I… I… I… I'M SORRY THAT I CALLED YOU A GENIUS!!!" cried Atticus with tears in his eyes.

"AND I'M SORRY THAT I CALLED YOU A RESPECTED PERSON!!!" cried Jaden, also with tears in his eyes.

"LET'S KISS EACH OTHER!" declared Atticus.

"OKAY!" said Jaden as he and Atticus soon started kissing each other (which was kind of creepy, if you ask me).

"Wow… that's disturbing…" said Crowler, soon pressing an "aw…" button on his sound-making machine. "Well, I guess it settles it… and I was right before… _both_ of you are idiots…"

"WHO CARES?" asked Jaden and Atticus as they continued to kiss each other.

"Come on, Atticus!" said Jaden. "Let's go to the store!"

"Okay!" said Atticus, walking along with Jaden. "Hey! Did you hear that the new Captain Underpants book is out?"

"YEAH!" said Jaden. "And there are new Hello Kitty diaries out!"

"SW33T!" said Atticus.

"AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!" laughed Jaden and Atticus stupidly together as they walked into the sunset.

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EPILOGUE

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So, there you have it. We all know that we see morals in Aesop's fables, but here's the moral of this story: you may end your friendship with someone, but sometimes, it doesn't last forever, for you'll want to have your ex-friend back again eventually (most of the time, anyway).

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THE ACTUAL END


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